Welcome to Bloopers & Bites: Where elegance goes to die, and snacks fight back.

This corner of Plated Journeys is where I spill the tea—literally and figuratively. It’s a front-row seat to my finest snack-related tragedies and travel oopsies. Yes, travel and food blogging looks glamorous—glistening gelato, golden crepes, steaming ramen bowls. But behind every pic is me: falling face-first into an ice cream cone on a Roman cobblestone like it’s my calling.

This is the real story. The snack-attacks. The travel whoopsies. The culinary chaos that no one wants to admit.

Like that one time in Paris when I bit into a crepe and it squirted Nutella down my shirt like a culinary crime scene. Or the time in Tokyo I slurped ramen so enthusiastically I launched spicy broth directly into my own eyes. Vision? Gone. Dignity? Also gone. But the broth? Divine.

Sure, travel and food blogging look glamorous. You see sunsets, fancy drinks, and artfully posed plates. What you don’t see is me dropping said drink on my lap, tripping over my own suitcase, or getting surprised-attacked by a rogue burrito.

And let’s not forget Peru—my first ceviche. I poked at the fish with a chip and confidently told the waiter I think he “forgot to cook it.” He kindly informed me that raw fish is, in fact, the entire point. I smiled, nodded, and died inside. To be fair, I was a teen, it was my first solo trip and to be honest, it’s not something we’ve had back home. I really wasn’t there for the food but by the end of that trip, the ceviche had my heart.

So, if you’re here for the highlight reel of edible elegance... you're in the wrong place. But if you're into snacks with side effects and chaotic tales from the foodie frontlines—welcome home, my friend.

So, grab a snack (maybe wear a poncho?), and dive into the glorious mess that is my travel life.

Usual Spill Score*: 3/5 — moderate mess, potential lifelong trauma 

Shame Level: 8/10 — smiled like a royal, died inside like a peasant.

Forcefit? – El Nido

And then there was El Nido - Getting slammed by waves, tangled by your own shoes, reefed in the knee, and still trying to crawl out with dignity. Beautiful, serene El Nido-where I got absolutely wrecked by a wave. It knocked me down, then just... kept going. Like it had a vendetta. I stood up, only to fall again-this time onto a reef that slashed my knee. I cried like a baby while the waves dragged me, my shoes hooked onto rocks, and I basically did underwater CrossFit against my will.

Beachy Cinderella - Cebu

Ahh Cebu. Riding in the back of a tuk-tuk, wind in my hair, feeling the vibes-until my left side slippers flew out mid-ride, never to be seen again. I was barefoot for the rest of the afternoon like some kind of beachy Cinderella in crisis.

Squid Surprise – Japan

They warned me it might still be twitching, but I didn’t expect the squid to go full Cirque du Soleil on my plate. I leaned in to snap the perfect “I’m-so-cultured” foodie pic—when suddenly, SQUIRT! Right. In. The. Face. I looked like I’d lost a gooey fish war. My camera lens was crying. The server handed me a napkin with the softest “...first time?” I’ve never made eye contact with a mollusk since.

Elk Me Later – Alberta, Canada

There I was, feeling fancy with a plate of what I swore was rosemary lamb. I even made a mini speech about how “lamb is so underrated.” Three bites in, I asked the server how they got lamb this tender.

“Oh... that’s elk.”

Excuse me, elk?!

My moral compass spun out for a second. But it was so good, I kept eating and told myself it was serendipity… or selective taste bud amnesia.

The Espresso That Broke Me – Italy

In Rome, I tried to blend in like a local: black clothes, sunglasses, and confidently ordering “un caffè, per favore.” What didn’t I realize? Italian espresso hits harder than my roaming bill. I shot it back like a tequila, instantly regretted my life choices, and spent the next hour wide-eyed and speaking slightly faster than Google Translate.

Wasabi Roulette – Tokyo, Japan

I love sushi and to be honest. I thought I knew wasabi. Turns out, I did not. I was busy talking and being a distraction while trying to steal food off Su’s plate. As I made my carefully planned move to nap his last shrimp tempura, he turned towards me, and I grabbed the closest thing. I mistook a whole glob of wasabi for avocado (rookie move) and shovelled it into my mouth. My nostrils were so clear, I could’ve smell my mother’s cooking miles and miles away. My soul left my body, did a lap around the rice cooker, and came back. I sank into my seat quietly trying to regain composure even though I wanted to beat on the floor like a tilapia that had just been pulled from the river.

Coconut Chaos – The Philippines

It was a hot day in El Nido, and nothing sounded more refreshing than fresh coconut water. The vendor hacked the top off like a pro and handed it to me with a straw and a few oz of island rum. I took a big sip. spun around and tripped on a felled tree sending the coconut flying into a pile of waste – narrowly hitting a monkey. (Yup, a monkey.) Motivated by fright, he took off and dived into the bushes. For the remainder of my time waiting for another coconut, he kept his eyes on me as though plotting his revenge.

The Pasta Slip – Italy (Again, because Italy’s got drama)

Trying to do a cute pasta twirl for Instagram... and the entire forkful of spaghetti fell out of my mouth, landed on my top, and slid down into my lap. A waiter offered me a napkin. Another gave me a thumbs up. I guess I nailed the "authentic Italian experience."

Croissant Catastrophe – Paris, France

Paris: the city of love, art, and perfectly flaky croissants. I sat on a bench under the Eiffel Tower, ready for my main character moment. Just as I bit into the most delicate, buttery croissant ever made... a pigeon dive-bombed me. I shrieked. The croissant flew. A tourist gasped. The pigeon won.

Moral of the story? Never eat carbs unguarded in Paris.

Travel Tip: Paris pigeons are faster than you, braver than you, and hungrier than you. Guard your pastry like it’s state secrets.

Teatime Terror – London, England 

Ah, afternoon tea. A delicate, delightful British ritual, right? We stopped at a Scottish inspired tea shop and I imagined lace, lemon drizzle, and scones that whispered elegance. Instead, I got a one-way ticket to tastebud confusion and polite suffering.

Trying to blend in like a true lady of the Crown, I accepted everything offered with a royal nod. 

“Clotted cream?” Absolutely. 

“Cucumber sandwich?” Say less. 

“Haggis” (Sheep’s Stomach) …Wait, what?

Too late. I bit in with full trust—and was immediately betrayed by something that was a bit liver paté-like – earthy and…tangy? I smiled. I nodded. I silently questioned my life choices.

Turns out, not every tart at tea time is sweet. And not every polite “yes” ends well.

Travel Tip: Always ask before you bite. The Brits may be subtle, but their snacks are full of surprises—and sometimes stomach.

A Leg or a Wing? Same thing, right? Wrong! Las Vegas - USA

Now there was that time in Las Vegas. I was at a buffet, confidently loading my plate with what I swore were chicken wings. I took a bite, paused, and realized something was... off. Then the fact of what I was eating JUMPED at me..hehehehe…

Plot twist: it wasn’t chicken. 

It was frog legs. 

I had unknowingly crossed into the amphibian appetizer zone, and there was no turning back. 

I chewed with dignity, made eye contact with no one, and whispered, “It’s fine. Everything’s fine…most certainly does not taste like chicken”

Ceviche Confusion – Lima, Peru

Ceviche in Lima is everything. So, I dove in confidently… only to find out I ate the spiciest pepper on the plate thinking it was a cherry tomato. Five seconds in, I was crying, sweating, and speaking a new dialect of panic.

A sweet local handed me leche de tigre and said, “This helps.”

Spoiler: It didn’t. But it did make my hiccups sound like a baby llama crying.

Travel Tip: If it looks like a tomato but radiates danger, it’s probably a pepper. Test the waters. Or bring a fire extinguisher for your mouth.

The lime is supposed to make the heat of the pepper subtle.